Thursday, May 1, 2014

A LIttle Bit of Whining... Until I Get Warmed Up.

I can barely remember the last time I was here.  Can't believe it's been this long but -- no matter, here I am. Let's catch up.

Not too much has happened. Still live in the same place, work at the same job, have the same cat.  But I decided to take my jewelrymaking in a new direction.  Several years ago, I made earrings and sold them at shows with my ex and was getting pretty successful at it... until my world blew up a few years ago.  And now I'm making mostly bracelets instead of earrings and I'm doing it by myself (no ex-boyfriend to muddy the waters... alas and alack, though, no ex-boyfriend to drive me and my stuff around. Oh well. Maybe I can find a replacement.)  But it's all good. Loving the way the bracelets are turning out and I hope they will sell.  So, I'm okay, all in all.

Well, except maybe for one thing... I turned 60 while I was away from you, blogger. Sixty. 60. Still not sure how this happened. And the thing is, what is bothering me more than the number are the more than slightly annoying physical changes that come with so-called 'mid-life'.  Where shall I start?

  •  Arthritis:  After 5 or so years of increasing pain in my left knee, my orthopedist suggests a total knee replacement. When it's very cold, rainy or snowy, I can barely walk without pain. My other knee is sometimes painful and sometimes I have an ache in my lower back. I've been pretty much ignoring all of this until I couldn't anymore.  Have decided not to have the knee replacement... yet. I'm going to try losing some weight and doing physical therapy and/or yoga/Pilates first.
  • Floaters: I've developed more floaters in my field of vision. They don't stop me from seeing but they are always there and they are very annoying, particularly when I'm looking at the white light of a computer screen. They cause several slight shadows to float across my vision all the time. It's disorienting and stressful and there is nothing I can do about it. No cure for floaters. Usually they either disappear on their own or the brain learns to ignore them... I wish one of those things would happen soon.
  • Weight gain. Almost forgot to mention: I quit smoking while I was away also, dear blog, which is a GREAT thing... but I've put on 10 pounds that refuse to leave. One of my boobs is slightly saggier than the other, the cellulite on my legs is more pronounced, I'm developing a tummy... and I guess this is what 60 looks like. 
I don't like it. But it is what it is and I'm just going to have to make the best of it. Considering that friends younger and older than I am are fighting diabetes, hypertension and other ailments, I probably shouldn't complain, right?

Moving on: I broke up with the clown I'd been dating for about seven months. Turned out he only thought he wanted a real relationship. What he really wanted was a friends with benefits situation, and I don't think he even really knew that.  He was retired, I'm still in the workforce and I prefer that my 5 to 9 life not be as mired in routine as my 9 to 5 life.  As it happened, he wanted to commit without really committing: spend every weekend together: I shop, cook and serve food while he writes the great American novel in his underwear, we watch TV, swap spit and bodily fluids, go to sleep, lather, rinse, repeat the next weekend... which is OK when you feel very close to your partner and there is a mutual desire to connect on a deeper level; to truly know the person.... instead, I was bored to stupefaction. No real intimacy. No passion. And that doesn't work for me.  He used the L word at one point but it was way too soon. It's been my experience that when a man uses the L word too soon, he doesn't have a clue as to what it really means. I was right again. Truth is, I wasn't terribly upset when I broke it off. 

I'm hoping for one more great love before I go toes up.  And I'm not afraid to try. 

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